Uncomfortable and avoidant feelings are opportunities for looking at ourselves and our perceptions. Sometimes our held memory of events stifles our opportunities for health, fun, and connection. That is when we say that our thoughts get in the way of our growth and pleasure.
We really can't not have experienced what we experienced. We can change what we think about those experiences. We can put them in a place called "What I think I remember." We can also put our thoughts about our future into a place called "What I think might happen." Between those two places is another place, I call “Here, Now”.
In the “Here, Now” we can choose our thoughts and actions in the moment. And in that moment, we can affect what comes next. We can recall when we were maltreated or offended, recognize that as "in the past", and imagine going back to the situation and inserting a more positive outcome. We can design a new path forward, with support. A path that’s not hampered by the past.
It's ok to avoid some uncomfortable situations. It is also ok to restore the balance between your past and your future. Your past was. Your future might be. Your present is the only place where you can affect change.